


Secret Admirers of Perfection

by argo1993



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Eventual Romance, F/F, Swan-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-10 20:10:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4405859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argo1993/pseuds/argo1993
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post being abandoned by Robin, Regina finds herself having to become more and more involved in Charming family activities at the behest of her son, but soon finds that there are a few perks to the job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Pitch is Thrown

Regina had just put the finishing touches on an apple pie and put it in the oven when the sound of her doorbell echoed through the house. Sighing, she wiped her hands on a dish-towel and made her way to the front door, brushing some stray flour off of her dress as she went. As she reached out to the door she suddenly knew who was behind it and started to speak before she had even opened the door enough for the caller to be visible. 

'Snow...,' Regina growled, although in her defence she really had tried to address her ex-step-daughter in a more pleasant tone of voice. Obviously, she thought, she was just incapable of being nice to this woman. Not that it bothered her in the slightest. 

'Regina!' Snow exclaimed, as soon as the door was open all the way. 'How did you know it was me?'  
Regina looked at the round-faced brunette, and noticing the massive smile on her face, started to wonder how the woman didn't constantly have sore cheeks.  
'Lucky guess,' she eventually replied. 'What can I do for you?'  
' Well,' Snow said, 'I was wondering if you and Henry would like to join us for dinner tonight? I'm making vegetarian lasagne.'  
'Why?' Regina shot back, wary of the invitation.  
'I heard you like lasagne.'  
'No, I mean why are you inviting me to dinner?'  
'Oh,' Snow said, faltering for a second as she though of a reason, but grinning again as she continued. 'We have town issues to discuss, since you are now mayor again, and I was mayor, I thought I should fill you in on what you missed.'  
'I do believe that would be better discussed in a meeting, Miss Blanchard, not on my time off. Please call my office in the morning and we will arrange something.' Regina forced a tight smile and started to close the door, relieved she had managed to avoid a Charming family dinner, but was stopped by a clog-clad foot jamming the door open.  
'Henry asked me to ask you, Regina. He's worried about you,' Snow said through the gap.  
Regina swore under her breath and opened the door again.  
'Worried? Why would he be worried about me?'  
'He thinks your lonely.' 

Regina closed her mouth before she could quip back, stunned by her son's ability to see right though her. _Still_ , she thought, _I don't need pitied by these of all people. ___  
'I assure you, I am not...lonely,' she replied, spitting out the last word with distaste.  
'Still, maybe it will put Henry's mind at rest. Is 6 okay for you'.  
Regina didn't reply, and was amazed when the other woman managed to take the silence as a yes.  
'All right!' Snow continued. 'I expect you to be knocking on our door at 6 sharp. You don't need to bring anything.'  
With a final smile, Snow turned and walked down the path to the pavement, turning to wave at a confounded Regina before she walked out of sight.  
Auto pilot guided the mayor to close the door and walk through her hallway back to the kitchen, check on her pie and after checking the clock, heading upstairs to shower, as was often her reaction after being in close proximity to the Charmings. 

******

Six o'clock rolled around all to soon for Regina's liking, and somehow she found herself standing in a dank stairwell next to her son, clutching a bottle of wine and a basket with her recently-cooled apple pie within. Henry looked up at his mother and smiled before reaching forward and knocking on the door. Regina rolled her eyes at the situation she had managed to find herself in, and tried to remind herself that she had grown to tolerate these people. The door opened and she straightened her back, lifted her chin in the air, and plastered her best mayor smile on her face as Snow and Charming came into view, both of them grinning like idiots and ushering them into the apartment. Once inside, Regina offered up the wine and the pie to Snow.  
'Oh Regina, you really didn't have to,' Snow said, pleased with the gifts. 'Thank you very much.'  
'It was no trouble,' Regina lied, remembering the half an hour she had spent going through her wine collection trying to find the perfect one to bring.  
'She's lying,' Henry interjected. 'She spent half an hour with every bottle of wine she owned trying to find the right one.'  
At this revelation Snow giggled, much to Regina's distaste.  
'In France, it's actually terribly rude to bring wine to a dinner party. They think it suggests that the guest doesn't trust the host's choice'  
A silence fell across the room, during which David cleared his throat and excused himself to the kitchen, earning a glare from Snow White. Just as Regina was beginning to enjoy the uncomfortable air surrounding them, Emma crashed in through the front door, out of breath and hair everywhere.  
'Sorry...I'm...Late,' she panted, flopping down in a chair to try and regain her breath. Henry ran over to her to give her a hug, and she quietly asked Henry what the hell his mum was wearing.  
'I heard that,' Regina drawled from across the room where Snow was pouring everyone a drink.  
Henry giggled and replied 'Well she wanted to go full on Evil Queen, but I managed to talk her into wearing jeans and a t-shirt''  
'I didn't think she even owned jeans, especially not jeans so tight' Emma replied, looking the other woman up and down, then blushing when Regina caught her looking and raised an eyebrow.  
'You should see her collection of leather,' Henry replied innocently, too young to understand why Emma had gone even redder.  
'Henry!' Regina scolded, walking over towards them.  
'Don't worry kid,' Emma said to a confused looking Henry. 'I'm sure if your mom had wanted me to see he leather, I would have seen it by now.  
'Maybe I've just yet to find the time, Miss Swan,' Regina added, smirking at the blondes inability to reply.  
Evil Queen:1 – Saviour:0 . That's what she gets for being so annoyingly sexy, Regina thought.  
She was now sitting in an overstuffed armchair, struggling to get comfy and trying not to spill her wine, and she listened as Henry starter to regale his birth mother with tales about his recent activities. The blonde, proving herself to be as much of a child as Regina often commented she was, was getting caught up in Henry's stories and the two of them flew off to their own little world. Regina took this opportunity to openly stare at the blonde who only ever seemed to cause problems for her. _Although __, she started to think, _maybe I'm being to hard on her. She did seem to be trying, and even I cannot deny that she is inexplicably charming. In her own way. And how the hell does she stay so fit? As far as I can tell, all she does is eat carbs and sit behind a desk all day. I wonder what her stomach feels like..._  
But Regina was startled out of her increasingly-dangerous train of thought by a loud call of 'Dinner!' from across the room, and she stood up to lead the way to the table. _

******  
So everyone was seated, food was served, drinks poured, grace said (to Emma's insistence, and everyone else's confusion. Why would one thank some unknown entity for the food, Regina questioned, instead of the person who had provided it?),and dinner wasn't eaten. Once everyone was finished and the plates were cleared, David filled everyone's glasses once more and stood up to propose a toast.

'To Family!' He said, raising his glass in the air and smiling broadly.  
'To family,' everyone else chorused around the table as they too rose their glasses.  
Just as Regina was taking her toasting sip, Emma leant close to her ear and whispered, 'And here's to you in leather,' at which the usually regal brunette choked on her wine and splutter helplessly in reply. Emma smirked as she passed Regina her glass of water.  
_Evil Queen:1 – Saviour:1. I will not be out-flirted by a common sheriff_ Regina thought as she gulped the water.

But Regina did not get her chance to plan her retaliation until after the apple pie was had, coffee was drank and Henry had fallen asleep on the Charming's bed. The four adults were still sitting around the table as before, albeit less sober than before, and were amicably chatting away. Mary Margaret was spraffing about baby Neil and her trouble finding someone to look after him for the night, David was occasionally interjecting with husbandly cliches, Emma was laughing at the apparent 'jokes' that were being told, and Regina was nodding complacently while plotting her next move.  
_I could lean over her to reach for the wine...but that would only work if the wine didn't happen to be on my end of the table. Damn. Put my hand on her knee? To forward. If she yelled out and asked me what she I'm doing it would literally start a war. I could...yea, that will work. ___

Regina started to enact her plan almost immediately. The minute an appropriate gap appeared in the conversation, she stood up and declared that it was late and that she should return home.  
'Thank you for the lovely dinner, Mary Margaret', she said, walking over to the door to get her coat. Her plan required Emma to see her the next day, so she decided to let Henry stay the night with the in the loft.  
'So shall I bring him round to yours tomorrow morning to get his school stuff?' Emma asked, when she was told to just let Henry sleep with her.  
'That would be perfect, Miss Swan,' Regina replied, and she smiled quickly before giving the sleeping kid a kiss on the forehead, thanking the Charmings once more, and leaving to get home quickly. She had a lot of wardrobe rummaging to do, and it was already late.


	2. Once More Unto the Breach

Emma and Henry arrived at Regina's front door only 14 minutes late, which in Emma's book was a success. She chapped the door jauntily and was surprised when it was opened only a few seconds later by an immaculate looking mayor. Emma herself looked like she had just rolled out of bed, which wasn't far from the truth.  
'Late again, Miss Swan. How unusual,' Regina commented as Henry rushed into the house to gather his things.  
'Go easy on me, Regina. It's hard to run fast before you've had coffee,' Emma replied.  
She noticed Regina look at her hard for a second, before opening her mouth to speak and being interrupted by Henry running past to catch the bus.  
'Bye Mom! Bye Mom!' He panted at the two women as he went.  
'Goodbye, Flash!' Emma yelled after him.  
'Flash?' Regina asked, once their son was out of sight.  
'Never mind,' Emma replied.  
They stood awkwardly at the door of a moment. Or at least Emma knew she was awkward. They Mayor just looked bored.  
'So what does a woman have to do around here to be offered a cup of coffee?' Emma eventually said, grinning.  
Regina simply raised an eyebrow and walked inside towards the kitchen, leaving the door open behind her. Emma took this as an invitation to follow, so she did. 

When Emma entered the kitchen, Regina was already pouring coffee into two mugs, and she handed the slightly fuller one to the blonde, who took it and leant against the counter behind her. Regina mimicked her actions across the room, and they both blew on their coffee, trying to find something to say.  
'Sorry for making you choke last night,' Emma blurted out. 'I mean I'm not really sorry, because it was hilarious, but y'know, I'm sorry.' She ended her little rant with a small smile and tentatively sipped her coffee.  
'That might honestly be the least convincing apology I've ever heard. You're worse at it that your mother.' Regina replied, a smirk on her face.  
'I have a present for you,' she continued. Now it was Emma's turn to choke, and choke on her coffee she did, wincing as the searing hot liquid burned down her throat.  
'But Regina, you've never given me anything except for a questionable apple turnover that nearly killed Henry. It isn't another apple turnover, is it? Because if it is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to respectfully decline.' Emma replied.  
Regina chuckled at this, which worried Emma even more. But the brunette just put her still-full mug down on the counter and said 'follow me, Miss Swan,' as she exited the room. Emma dithered in the kitchen for a moment trying to decide whether or not to take the coffee with her, and followed a second later, trying desperately not to spill coffee on the floor.  
She caught up with the Mayor at the foot of the stairs, and traipsed up them trying furiously to keep her eyes off of the pencil skirt-covered ass in front of her.  
_Damn it ___, Emma thought. _Damnitdamnitdamnit. Don't lose you're cool, Swan. You've seen it before, many times. It's nothing new. And just because it's right in front of you doesn't give you an excuse to stare. HA! I'm trying not to stare on the stairs! I'm hilarious. God help me.... ___  
Regina looked over her shoulder as she reached the landing and caught Emma (in a moment of weakness) staring.  
Emma's cheeks felt like they were on fire, but Regina didn't give any indication that she had noticed, as she just continued to walk forwards, towards a room at the end of the hall.  


'I don't think I've ever been up here,' Emma stated, taking in the her surroundings. 'It's very...white.'  
'Well, I did consider having everything painted black and purple when I first arrived here, but I decided against it,' Regina replied, speaking ahead of her.  
'Really?' Emma said in amazement.  
'No, not really. That would have been ridiculous.'  
Regina opened a large white (not black or purple) door and walked through, Emma following behind and freezing when she realised where she was.  
'I'm in your bedroom,' she said, although she really had no idea why she was so shocked.  
'Well spotted. You are a true testament to this land's education system.'  
'You have a bed!' Emma continued, still clueless as to why she was saying these things.  
'Where did you think I slept? Hanging upside down from the rafters?' Regina replied, sounding amused.  
'No, I just never thought about the fact you sleep. I mean, I've seen you unconscious a few times, but never asleep. But evidently you do. Sleep, that is. In a bed. I mean, if I was to imagine you in bed you wouldn't be asleep. I mean...' Emma rambled.  
_For fucks sake Swan, of course she sleeps. Who doesn't sleep? Idiot. And now she's looking at you like you just beamed down from Mars. No more speaking, okay? ___  
'What exactly am I doing, if I'm not sleeping?' Regina asked, turning around and walking into her closet, a small smirk on her face.  
Emma didn't know what to do, so she just followed after the mayor.  
'I, erm, I...' she started to stutter in response, but Regina had never actually intended for Emma to answer, and cut her off by holding up a black and red leather jacket.  
'I trust you like it?' the brunette said, taking the coffee out of Emma's hands and replacing it with the jacket.  
Emma just gaped in response, so Regina just carried on regardless.  
'When I first woke up in this house I added some of what I was more used to wearing to the closet, out of some sort of sentimentality I guess, since it's not exactly the most appropriate attire for this world. Anyway, this appeared in my wardrobe at the same time as I added all the other things, and I really have no idea where it came from,' Regina explained, finally adding with a smile, 'So if it's cursed. I accept no liability.'  
'But why give it to me?' Emma finally managed to spit out, looking the garment over and falling a little bit in love with it.  
'I've thought it would suit you ever since you arrived here. But as you know, Miss Swan, I haven't exactly been in a gift giving mood towards you for the majority of your time here. Apple turnovers excepted, as you so graciously pointed out earlier'.  
'Thank you.'  
'You're very welcome, Emma,' Regina purred, and she flicked her hand causing the jacket to disappear from Emma's hands. Emma looked confused and the sudden retracting of the gift.  
_What the hell. It's hard enough for me to understand her giving me a present in the first place, but now I need to understand her taking it back? What kind of sick game is she playi... Oh never mind, I'm wearing it. Hmm. ___  
'I was right, it does suit you,' Regina said, breaking Emma out of her train of thought.  
'Thank you,' she said again.  
'You already said that, dear.'  
'Oh yea, so I did. Well I mean it.' Emma added, stretching around in the jacket, which fitted perfectly.  
'I must admit, there's another reason I brought you up here,' Regina said, taking a step closer to Emma.  
Emma stopped moving around and held her breath as the mayor leaned closer to her.  
_SHE'S GOING TO KISS ME!Wait, is she going to kiss me? What the hell? I'm pretty sure she didn't even know my first name before I broke the curse, why would she suddenly be interested in me now? Maybe she's playing a game. May be this is just another plan to get back at my mother. Maybe she just needs to get it out of her system. It's the nice thing to do, to let her kiss me. The hero thing to do. It would help her. Wait, why is she diverging off to the left? Is there someone beside me she would rather kiss? Why doesn't she want to kiss me!? ___  
But Emma was interrupted by the feeling of Regina's breath against her ear.  
'Welcome to my 'collection of leather'. Regina whispered, as she pushed a button and the far wall spun, revealing another room behind it.  
Regina let Emma walk in front of her, and the blonde wandered in, not sure what to expect.  
'I warn you Regina, if this is some Fifty Shades of Grey crap I won't be pleased,' Emma said as she walked, but as she entered the room she was relieved to find nothing except rails and rails of dressed and trousers, shoes and riding boots, belts and hair pieces.  
'That's in a different room,' Regina stated, following after her.  
Emma looked at the woman's face, but couldn't tell if she was being serious or not.  
'Do you ever actually wear these?' Emma said, looking at a few of the dresses and wondering how it was possible.  
'I used to,' Regina said.  
'They're beautiful,' Emma stated. 'In a scary, evil kind of way'.  
'Yes well, the Evil Queen wouldn't have been quite so intimidating if I was wearing a pink fairy dress, now would she?'  
'That's true, I'm not sure you could pull of wearing a pink fairy dress. Oh crap! What's the time?' Emma said, it suddenly dawning on her that she had work.  
Regina looked at her watch.  
'A quarter past nine,' she replied.  
'I was meant to be at the station twenty minutes ago. Goddamnit!' Emma exclaimed, running past Regina and back out into the bedroom.  
'Sherrif Swan, if I may,' the mayor called after her.  


Emma turned round and was immediately engulfed in purple smoke, and when the smoke cleared she found herself standing right outside the door to the station. She rushed inside to find her very grumpy father waiting to be relieved from the early shift.  
'Where have you been?'  
'Sorry dad, I got tied up with... stuff,' she said, unzipping her jacket and hanging it on the back of her chair.  
'Is that new?' David asked, eyeing the item of clothing.  
'Shouldn't you be home by now? Emma replied, not answering the question.  
David gave Emma a scowl and left, leaving Emma alone. She sank back in her chair and looked down at her desk, grinning when she saw one of Regina's mugs sitting on it, still steaming and refilled. There was a note attached in Regina's fancy handwriting, that read.  
'I thought you might need the rest of this. Also, please do not make a habit of being late for work.  
Regina,'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two is here! Woo! I know I flipped perspective on this one, but I thought it would be interesting. The next chapter will probably be back to Regina's POV. Let me know what you think!


	3. Hungry Like the Wolf

Two days later, Regina found herself ambushed on the walk from her house to her office. She was innocently walking along, thinking about nothing much in particular, when suddenly a bundle of red clothing and pale skin crashed into her from around a corner and sent them both flying. Regina landed on her back with a loud 'thud' that knocked all of the air out of her lungs, and the assailant landed on top of her, all bones and long limbs. But she didn't have much time to gather her wits before pain exploded across her face and everything faded.  
'Oh God, I'm so sorry! Are you all right?' Ruby said, rolling off of the mayor to give the woman room to breath. But when she looked over, she found Regina unconscious, with blood slowly trickling from a small split on her forehead.  
'Oh shit,' gasped Ruby, before pulling her phone out of her pocket and calling the only person she could think of to help. 

Emma was sitting behind her desk, pretending read a complaint from the Merry Men. As she had tried to tell them before, a break in required some kind of door or barrier to break through, other wise it wasn't a crime, so really she couldn't do anything. Except maybe suggest that if they are worried about security to move somewhere with walls and a lock. Anyway, she was interrupted by the phone ringing, and she sighed. No doubt a cat was stuck up a tree again. But when she answered, she was greeted by a very panicked sounding Ruby, ranting something about a street address and an accident and an unconscious mayor. Emma hung up the phone the minute she had finished repeating the address and, grabbing her coat, she ran out of the door.

The first thing Regina felt as she woke up was a hand on her forehead. Then she started to hear someone calling her name. Annoyingly. She wished whoever it was would let her sleep, but the voice was persistent. Also she must have accidentally shown some sign of waking up, because now someone was pushing her shoulder. She opened her eyes and blinked her sight into focus, letting out a yelp when she saw two faces hovering far to close to her face for her liking. The two faces jumped back in surprise, and Regina realised that they belonged to Emma and the wolf.  
'What...' Regina started to ask, but was cut short by the pain that exploded from the back of her head when she tried to speak.  
'You probably shouldn't try to speak,' Emma said, looking concerned.  
'Should we take her to the doctor?' Red chipped in.  
'No, I think I can fix it. Hang on.' Emma replied.  
Regina saw the blonde move her hands up so they hovered over where the pain was radiating from, and wanted to tell Emma that if she thought she was going to use her under practised magic anywhere near something as important as her face she had another thing coming, but she was once again stopped by the pain. She was blinded by a white light, but once the light was gone she had to admit, she did feel a lot better. The pain was mostly gone, and part of her started wondering why she was still lying on the ground. Using the offered hands to help her up, the ex-queen was standing in no time. She patted the dust off of her clothing and thanked Ruby and Emma for helping her.  
'You're welcome,' Emma replied.  
'I'm sorry I knocked you over,' Red said, sheepishly. 'Although, I must admit, it was fun being on top for a change'.  
If looks could kill, Red would already be on the floor after the way Regina's eyes shot up at her. Emma moved her head back and forth between the two other women repeatedly, trying to make sense of Red's comment.  
'For a...For a change?' Emma eventually squeaked out, her eyes still moving like she was watching tennis.  
'You know, cause I've only ever been und...' Ruby started to explain, not realising she had said anything that would cause confusion, but Regina cut her off.  
'Don't you have somewhere to be?' She pointedly asked through grated teeth.  
Red eventually caught on and shot an apologetic grin at the now bright-red Emma, before walking away towards her granny's diner.  
'Did you...? I mean, did she say...? Why would you...?' Emma struggled to speak. 

_Well done. That went really well, didn't it? ___Regina thought. _I'm an idiot. Not that I care that Emma knows. It's not like I married the wolf, I just slept with her. I didn't even do that! I kicked her out before the sun came up. ___

Emma was still rambling half questions to the air. 

_Right,_ Regina's inner monologue continued. _Time for damage control. Luckily Emma's straight so jealously won't be a problem. Wait, is she, what's the word? Homophonic? No, she can't be. That doesn't sound right. Time to say something authoritative and Queen-like. Maybe invite her for coffee. Go on as normal._

______Emma had finished trying to speak when Regina said, 'I should be going. Thank you for taking time out of your busy work schedule to help me, Miss Swan. Now if you'll excuse me.'  
_Wait, that's not what I meant to say._  
Emma watched as the suddenly confused looking brunette walked away towards her house, muttering under her breath as she went, before shaking her head and making her way back to the office. 

_____* * * *_ _ _ _ _

________Regina ended up back at home after all, and hadn't even had time find the painkillers she had hidden out of the way of Henry before there was a knock at the door. She rubbed her hands over her face in exasperation and made her way through to answer it.  
'Snow, why am I not surprised?' Regina growled when the door revealed the perky school teacher behind it, who was holding a basket over one arm. 'I've got a headache so if you don't mind coming back tomorrow, that would be great.'  
'I know, that's why I'm here!' Mary Margaret answered, smiling broadly before pushing past the mayor into the house.  
'Why aren't you lying down, Regina?' she continued, walking through to the kitchen.  
_Because I had to answer the door to you, obviously,_ Regina thought. _GET OUT OF MY HOUSE._  
'Regina, go lie down, I'll bring you some Aspirin in a minute.'  
'Why are you in my house?'  
'Emma called and told me you were in an accident and you seemed a bit out of sorts, so I'm here to make sure you're okay. No one should be left alone after hitting their head, you know that.'  
Regina did know that from the hours of first aid training that had been forced upon her by the town board, but still, she wasn't going to accept any help from this woman.  
'Look, Regina,' Mary Margaret continued. 'Either you can stand here in the kitchen with me and listen to me talk about my baby and song birds and the children in my class, or you can go lie on the sofa. Your choice.'  
Regina thought about it for a second, before walking, defeated, to the lounge and lying down.  
_When did that annoying child learn to make such compelling arguments?_  
A few minutes later, Mary Margaret came through with two white tablets she assured where aspirin and a glass of water. Regina looked at the pills suspiciously for a second, but then she threw caution to the wind and swallowed them, passing the glass back silently when she was finished.  
Lying back down, she thought about how strange it was that someone was making an (albeit unwelcome) attempt to look after her, before her eyelids became heavy and she decided to let them fall. 

______________When she awoke the curtains had been closed and the fire lit, and she could hear voices mumbling from another room. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, she padded through to the hallway, followed the voices to the kitchen and listened, keeping herself out of view.  
'Because she slept with your best friend! That's why you should care!' said the unmistakable voice of the saviour.  
'People are free to do whatever they please, Emma. Who are we to judge?' Snow replied, setting what sounded like a mug down on the counter.  
'But doesn't it bother you just a little bit? Your BEST FRIEND having sex with the woman who made your life hell for 30 years?'  
'Red's a big girl. And she could do a lot worse than Regina. She's changed. And she's very beautiful.'  
'But! You don't even mind a little bit? What if I was to sleep with her? Are you saying you wouldn't mind that either?'  
'You could do a lot worse than her too.'  
Regina raised her eyebrows at that statement, and smiled as Emma let out an exasperated sigh.  
'I hope I'm not intruding in my own kitchen,' Regina said, walking through the door and walking over to the oven to inspect what was inside. It appeared to be some kind of baked-pasta dish. It smelled all right, anyhow. Emma took her phone out of her pocket and started furiously staring at it, but she didn't appear to actually be doing anything, and Regina crossed her arms across her stomach, trying not to look awkward. Snow looked between the two of them before standing up and saying, 'Emma has offered to stay with you for the evening since I've got to get back to Neil. I hope you feel better Regina'.  
Emma shot her mother a 'how could you' look, and started to make noised about having to go back to the office to finish up some things, but Snow just picked up her coat and hugged her daughter, whispering something in her ear as she did, then left, leaving the two of them in the kitchen listening to the front door close.  
'So, I guess it's just us tonight,' Emma said, trying to sound casual.  
'You do not have to stay, Miss Swan. I'm perfectly able to look after myself'.  
'Oh...well, I don't have to be anywhere else, so really it would be no trouble'.  
'Only if you promise not to talk about your brother, or songbirds.' Regina bargained, a smile quirking at the corners of her lips.  
'I swear,' Emma replied,smiling and holding her hand over her heart. 'So, where do you keep your plates?' 


	4. Come Dine With Me

Emma ate the last bite of the pasta-bake Mary Margaret had made and pushed her plate away to signal she was finished. She watched as Regina, who was only a quarter of the way through her meal, prodded at a piece of cream covered food, obviously wondering whether or not to risk eating it.  
'Do you think this is mushroom, chicken, or a lump of congealed cream?' Regina asked, continuing to poke at the object in question with her fork, a slightly disgusted look on her face.  
'Mushroom. Definitely,' Emma replied. 'Or maybe chicken. It could quite easily be chicken. Look, you don't have to eat it if you don't want to.'  
Regina looked over her food at Emma, then moved to put it in her mouth. But at the last moment she decided against it and placed the fork quietly down onto the plate.  
'Please thank your mother for a lovely dinner,' said Regina, forcing a smile.  
'Regina, it was awful. You don't have to pretend it wasn't' Emma replied.  
'But you finished yours'.  
'Yes, well, I was hungry'.  
'So was I until I started eating,' Regina concluded, getting up and gathering the plates. 'Coffee?'  
'Got anything stronger?' Emma asked, helping the other woman with the plates and following her to the kitchen. 

Five minutes later found them sitting awkwardly at opposite ends of the sofa, a glass of whisky in their hands, trying to find something to say.  
'So...' Emma started, trying to fill the silence but not coming up with anything else to say.  
Regina just raised an eyebrow.  
_What the hell am I meant to say?_ Emma thought. _Regina doesn't seem to be making any attempt at making conversation. And why is she staring at me? Have I got something on my face? Maybe she's wondering why I'm here. Maybe she would rather Red was here. Maybe she's concussed. Should I ask her about Red... No, Swan, just ask her about her head. Safe territory. She's still staring. Shit._  
'So what's up with you and Red?' Emma blurted out.  
_Fuck._  
An amused smile appeared on Regina's face.  
'Jealous, Miss Swan?' She replied.  
'No!'Emma exclaimed, too loudly and too quickly. 'I just didn't know that you... I mean that you like... that you have...'  
'You are jealous.' Regina said.  
'I am not!' Emma replied.  
'No, you're right. How can I possibly rate next to a man that wears more eye-liner than me?'  
Regina smirked and drank from her glass.  
'Who? Hook? Pffft.' Emma laughed a little at the absurdity. That poor man.  
Regina, once again, raised her eyebrow.  
'Y'know, cause he's gay, and I'm gay, and we're one big gay happy family. I don't even know what he would do if I came on to him. Probably scream'.' Emma said, noting the look of confusion that had fallen over the brunette's face.  
'Then why do you keep kissing him all the time?' Regina asked, still trying to understand.  
Emma just shrugged her shoulders and took sip of her drink. Regina took the cue and downed her drink all in one. Setting her glass on the table, she turned round and leant a little closer to Emma.  
'This world confuses me,' Regina said. 'In our world sexuality wasn't a thing, people just did whatever they wanted.'  
'Don't you mean whomever they wanted?' Emma added, smirking.  
Regina gave her a disapproving look before continuing.  
'But here, people give themselves labels and only do what other people say they should do. It's strange'.  
'Sounds awesome. But your world doesn't have TV, I'm afraid it just doesn't cut it with me.' The blonde said.  
'Emma, I'm trying to tell you something.' Regina said, frowning. 'I want to...'  
But she was cut off by her phone ringing on the table.  
'It's Henry,' she said, her anger at the interruption dissipating when she saw who was calling.  
'Hello Dear.' Regina said as Emma leant back on the sofa.  
_Maybe I should leave._ Emma thought, as the brunette spoke on the phone. _Regina must think I'm invading her space or something. And her face when I said I was gay, what was up with that? Could it really bother her that much? No, I doubt it. I wonder what she was about to say. Probably about to ask me to leave. Bloody women, their all the same. Except from most of them. Actually, their all quite different really. But Regina is something else. I can't believe I was actually into her when I first got here. I must have had magic fever or something, or PTSD from the shock of learning I have a son. A son with a ridiculously hot mother..._  
But Emma was knocked out of her train of thought by Regina nudging at her arm and holding out the phone to her. Getting the message, Emma took it and held it to her ear.  
'Hey kid. What's up?' Emma said.  
'Mom! Are you two on a date?!' Henry said excitedly.  
'Hey, slow down. What happened to 'Hi, how are you'?'  
'Hi, how are you? Now tell me if you're on a date.'  
'No Henry, we are not. I'm just making sure she's okay.'  
'I bet she's staring at you right now,' Henry said, knowingly.  
'Who?'  
'My mom! Check!'  
Emma looked over to where Regina was sitting and the brunette quickly looked away, a slight blush creeping across her cheeks. Emma smiled.  
'That proves nothing,' she said to Henry.  
'I told you! She's in love with you!' Henry squealed, even more excited than before.  
'Henry. Your mom is not in love with me, that's ridiculous.' Emma replied, forgetting who she was sitting next to. Regina choked on her newly-poured drink, and the blonde hit her hard on her back to help her breath.  
'Look Henry, I've got to go. Have fun!' Emma quickly said before hanging up and making sure the mayor was all right.  
'I'm fine, I'm fine,' Regina assured, but she didn't try to move away from Emma who was now sitting so close to her there was no space between them, and had one of her arms resting on the brunette's back. Regina turned her head to look at Emma, and found herself a inch away from the other woman's face, their noses almost touching.  
'Hey,' Emma said.  
'Hey.'  
They stayed still for a few seconds before Regina tilted her head a little and moved closer, kissing Emma tentatively.  
_Holy shit, she's kissing me,_ thought Emma. _Kiss back, Swan. Kiss Back! Okay there we go. Her lips taste like apples, is that normal? Maybe it's some weird magic thing. Maybe she is just. That. Awesome. Did I just hear the front door. Fuck it, who cares._  
And Emma stopped thinking, pushing her body closer to Regina's and growing hungrier in her kisses, unable to get enough. She nibbled on the mayor's bottom lip, and was pushed backwards so she was was lying down, with Regina on top of her, pinning her down, body heat radiating.

'Shall I just come back later or...?' a voice said from behind them. Emma started and out of reflex threw Regina off of her and on to the floor. Regina sat up looking disheveled and understandably annoyed. They both looked round to where the voice had come from and saw Red standing in the doorway.  
'I just came by to see that you were all right, Regina, but I see that you are so I'll be going...unless you would like me to stay...' Red said, winking. Regina didn't say anything, but Emma could feel her feeling's bubbling inside of herself. 

_Of course Regina picks her over you! Look at her! She might literally be the most beautiful thing to ever exist. Except Regina herself of course, but she couldn't date herself. That didn't end well for narcissus so I doubt it would end well for her. Fuck this. How dare she use me to fill in time before that whore got here. Wait, whore? You're losing it Swan. It's time to get out of here._

'Actually, Red, I think...' Regina started to say, but Emma cut her off by hurriedly standing up and putting on her coat.  
'Actually I think you should stay,' the blonde said to Red. 'I need to get going.'  
Avoiding looking at Regina, Emma walked out of the room and house as quickly as she could without running.  
_Well that went well_ , she thought as she closed the front door behind her.


	5. All's Well That Ends Well

'Remember that time I ran out of your house because I thought you would rather sleep with Red than with me?' Emma said sleepily, stretching out on the bed. 

'I do,' Regina replied, rolling on to her side to face the blonde. 

'Yea, what was up with that?' Emma said. 

'I was just as confused as you, I can assure you.' 

'At least it all worked out in the end,' Emma finished, snuggling down in preparation to sleep and thinking about that night. 

**** 

_After slamming Regina's front door shut behind her, Emma ran out on to the street, not really caring where she was going or why she was going there, happy to be getting further and further away from the problem with every step that she took. Eventually she ended up on the on the quay, pacing back and forth in front of a bench dedicated to Ursula's mother and failing in an attempt to control her breathing._

_'Well done, Swan,' she started speaking aloud to herself, thinking she might as well since there was no-one else around. 'You really fucked it up this time. What the hell were you thinking? You should have stayed behind and fought gallantly for your woman. Not that she's my woman, but still, you should have fought. How hard can it be to tackle a wolf, anyway? Not that hard. Should I go back there? Maybe I'll go back there. Okay, I'm going back'. And with that decided she turned and confidently walked back towards Mifflin Street._

_By the time she arrived at the door she had ran out of not an hour before, her confidence had waned more than a little, and she was starting to doubt her ability to win anything, let alone Regina. She knocked tentatively on the large wooden door and found herself actually quite relieved when after a few moments no-one had answered._

_The she got angry._

_Emma flew through the door into the hallway before glaring left and right and marching up the stairs, to where she knew she would find Regina. She paused in front of the bedroom door, which was closed, and listened. But she heard no loud exhalations or groans. In fact, if she hadn't known exactly what was going on, she would have presumed the room was empty. Taking a deep breath she opened the door, ready to confront the two women inside about their behavior and maybe even throw down a gauntlet (or at least she would if she had known what a gauntlet is), challenging Red._

_It took Emma a few seconds of staring at an empty room and perfectly made bed before it finally sunk in that the room was, in fact, unoccupied. She was still frozen to the spot, trying to figure out what was going on when a voice coughed behind her. Emma turned slowly to face Regina, who had her arms folded across her stomach and looked far from amused._

_'Can I help you, Miss Swan?' Regina said sternly through grated teeth._

_Emma was almost definitely sure that the brunette couldn't care less about whether or not she could help her, but she replied anyway. Or at least she tried to, but her brain had different ideas._

_'I... I was just... You're not... I mean, she... Red isn’t...' Emma floundered but Regina cut her off._

_'Here? No, I'm afraid not. Sorry to disappoint. If you need to find her I'm sure she'll be at the diner, and if not I would check the street corners'. She said, motioning for Emma to walk ahead of her back downstairs. Emma stayed silent this time and did as she was directed. She managed to keep from speaking until she was halfway down the stairs, and she turned around to face Regina._

_'I'm sorry,' she said, simply._

_Regina looked down at her from a few steps above and raised an eyebrow. 'For what? Using me as a stopgap until something better and... wolfier... decides she wants you? Believe me, Miss Swan, I've had far worse than that happen to me, so there is no need to apologise'. She pushed past Emma and made her way a few steps down before the blonde grabbed her hand and pulled her back to face her._

_'What?' Emma said, looking confused._

_'What do you mean, 'what'. Don't try and deny it. You literally threw me off of you when you heard her voice. And when you found out I've slept with her you didn't speak to me for a week! Look, I will promise not to curse your … love ... if you just leave right now.'_

_Emma didn't budge._

_'Please?' Regina added, starting to look uncomfortable._

_Emma closed her eyes for a second before trying to speak, but laughing instead._

_'Why are you laughing?' Regina said, indignantly, watching the blonde as she double over in fits of giggles._

_Regina exhaled slowly, trying to curb her anger, and turned away but found herself, much to her displeasure, grabbed once again by Emma. Except this time she was pulled into a kiss, a confusing kiss, but a kiss none the less. Regina tried to protest but soon realised that she didn't really want to. After a few moments they broke apart, and Emma looked into Regina's eyes, which was hidden under a scowl._

_'I'm confused,' Regina said._

_'Come lie down with me and I'll explain,' Emma replied with a smile._

_So Emma lead Regina back to the bedroom, and she explained everything. And the next morning they awoke all tangled up in each other's limbs, and happier than they had ever been._

 

**** 

 

Emma awoke to the smell of bacon and teenage boy singing. She nudged Regina awake and kissed her on the nose before getting out of bed and throwing her robe over herself. As she made her way downstairs the singing got louder and she followed her ears to the kitchen, where she found Henry dancing around waving a spatula in one hand and cutlery in the other. 

'Good morning,' Emma said, smiling when Henry jumped at her voice. 

'Mum!' he said, looking shocked. 'You’re meant to still be in bed!' 

'I smelled bacon and my stomach led me to where I needed to be', She replied, pouring coffee into a couple of mugs. 

Henry hugged her from behind and said 'Happy anniversary, Mom.' 

'Thanks kid,' she replied, before kissing him on the forehead and making her way back upstairs. 

 

Emma backed through the door to the bedroom and placed one of the cups on the dresser and the other on the table next to Regina, who was still snoozing. 

'Hey,' Emma said, brushing a stray strand of hair away from Regina's face. The brunette blinked a few times before opening her eyes properly, and smiled. 

'Hey to you to. Happy Anniversary'. 

'Happy Anniversary,' Emma replied, kissing the other woman gently before making to get dressed. 

'By the way,' Emma added as she pulled on her socks. 'I've made you bacon, but Henry might try to take the credit'.

**Author's Note:**

> So that's that! I'm not too sure what I'm going to write next, but I can only hope that when it's up it is as well received as this fic has been. Thanks for reading!


End file.
